August 29th, 2007 was a day I will never forget. It was one of the best and worst days of my life. I had received a call the previous afternoon saying that I had developed HELLP syndrome again and to get to the Labor and Delivery part of the hosptial immediately. Oh yeah, and to lay only on my left side and not move. I called Kirk and he came home to get me. My wonderful neighbor watched the kids until Sara could get over here to pick them up and take them to Orem. After a night in L&D, they sent me home with orders to call my Dr the next morning. Kirk and I didn't get much sleep that night. The next morning I called Dr Barton and he said to come in that afternoon (it was his first available opening). Kirk went into work and then came home to pick me up. We got there and he checked me out and called the perinatologist to get some advice. Everyone including Kirk and myself felt the best option was to deliver. I, of course, was worried about our baby (I was only 37 weeks, but had measured 2 weeks behind on all of my ultrasounds), and the Dr and Nurse both said they were expecting him to be fine, but sometimes they might need a little O2, so he might be sent to the nursery for awhile. I asked if there was a NICU at our hospital and they said no, but they can handle most everything except the most severe cases. We had to wait til 10pm to go in for my c-section. I had eaten ONE BITE of a cookie, so they wouldn't do the surgery until it had been out of my system for 12 hours. Kirk and I went home and waited on the arrival of Lee and Kathy who were half way home when they received the call to come back. That night we went to the hospital and our sweet little baby boy, Joshua Liam Holmer was born at 9:59pm. Everything seemed fine for a few short minutes, but I noticed that he wasn't crying very much or very loudly. I mentioned to the Dr "Awww, listen to how soft his little cry is. He is such a good boy." The Dr kinda acted weird and made some sort of grunt of agreement. That was my first clue that something was right. Then I heard the nurse say "We are going to take the baby to the nursery for some Oxygen. He needs a little extra help right now." Then they showed him to me. He was the most horrible shade of gray/blue. Nothing I have ever seen before. He didn't look healthy. My stomach dropped. I told Kirk to go be with our son while I was stuck on the operating room table being sewn up, but I wanted to hop off that bed and go with my baby. Kirk left and soon I was in the recovery room all alone. Kirk popped in a couple of times and he would sit down with his head in his hands and say that Josh wasn't doing great, but would never elaborate. Finally he told me he was going to call our family. A nurse came in and I asked how the baby was. Her reply was "Your husband is meeting with the Dr now. I think he should be the one to tell you." That is when I realized it was very serious. Thinking Kirk had at least called his Mom to spread the word Joshua was here, I asked for my cell phone and called Jinna (the one person I figured Kathy wouldn't think to call). I knew she would be waiting up for a call. I started bawling and couldn't get any words out, but finally managed to tell her that something was wrong, but no one would tell me what. Finally I was in my regular room. Kirk came in followed by a nurse. He sat down and held my hand and the nurse began to tell me that he needed to be life flighted to Primary Childrens. Remember how I had talked to the Dr and Nurse when making the decision to have him early and they said that most everything except for the most severe cases could be treated at Cottonwood???? I was terrified. I held it together until that nurse walked out of the room and then I lost it. I know the anesthesiologist had given me some sort of calming medicine, but my mind was in full panic/horror mode while my body really wouldn't respond. I wanted to see my baby and they kept promising me they would let me as soon as I started regaining some feeling in my legs. The second I started to feel my legs I paged the nurse to take me to him, but she wouldn't. She kept saying they would bring him to me.
Finally I got to see my little boy. I made Kirk take a picture of the two of us, because I was afraid that would be the only picture I had. They stayed in the room about 10 or 15 minutes and then left with him. It was the strangest feeling ever to have a baby, but not HAVE the baby. We were very blessed and after he slept off all of the meds they pumped him with to life flight him, he quickly did a 180* and was a healthy normal little newborn. Those first few days were the worst of my life though. I feel like I am still dealing with the after effects of the trauma.
Now our sweet, mischevious little boy is 3! He is as healthy, happy and naughty as can be! :) We sure do love him and are proud of him. He is in preschool now and absolutely loves it. His favorite tv show is "Lego, Go go go" (Go Diego Go). He loves the color orange. I always am amazed at how young they pick a color and stick with it. He loves Furshing (fishing) with his Dad and always wants to play hunting. He wants to be Batman for Halloween, but I bought him a $5 Spiderman cosutme. We will see if he wears it! His favorite toys are toy guns! I'm not sure how I feel about that!!! He loves wearing his Star Wars shirt as often as possible. He is such a blessing to our family, always making us laugh. He loves to cuddle (on his terms of course) and is always making sure everyone is doing what they are supposed to. If you aren't, you better watch out, because he will put you in your place, with force if necessary! We LOVE YOU, JOSHUA! Thank you for being a part of our family! Love, Mom
